This only happens at Sellwood Cycle Repair. A few weeks ago, the crapper parade—the daily in-and-out of the bikes: the newbies for sale, the oldies for sale, the slummy repair jobs—seemed a little light. It just wasn’t wasting enough of our time, ya know. I didn’t think much of it, even though I felt it in my big toe, kinda like how Sasquatch must feel the doom of winter’s first snow.

We got an anonymous phone call Tuesday. The fellow on the other end of the line said we had a bike stolen last month, and that it was now leaning up against a powerline pole just south of the shop. Matt hiked down the avenue and returned with one of our purple 2007 Unit 2-9 bikes (this one was half-converted to a retarde 3×1 drivetrain). We hadn’t even noticed it was gone! They’re hard to keep track of, and, well, it wasn’t the only one not selling: I’ve built up three of them, and here they still sit. Apparently, we can’t even give one away. Goddam thieves returned it! I guess one question is this: Do those frames need to dip lower than $165 wholesale?

But I bet I know the question Kona has for us: Is it really that easy to steal a bike from Sellwood Cycle Repair? Yes, it is. They’re all piled up outside, unlocked, secured only by our bottomless well of faith in humanity. It works, I tells ya. I’ve got proof, and now so do you.  If these bikes could talk.

Erik Tonkin, Head (caveman) Jerk, SCR